


Tender in the Storm

by lambient



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A video game au?, Be gentle, Chat noir is super cheesy, F/M, Identity Reveal, Marinette is super awkward, also Gabriel isn’t technically a super villain in this one, and a constant mood, bur he may as well be, idk what I’m doign, my first miraculous story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-01 21:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20265115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lambient/pseuds/lambient
Summary: When Marinette is rejected by a very handsome, and very unavailable Adrien Agreste in a very embarrassing, very public manner she’s not sure how she’ll survive. That is until she’s introduced to Miraculous.Miraculous is a video game practically everyone in Paris plays. Marinette creates a brave alter ego to live vicariously through. However as time goes on Marinette can’t let go of her alternate persona and the fine line between reality and fiction blurs dangerously. Throw in blackcat89 and chaos ensues.A video game au to end all au’s.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, uhm yeah this was just a weird random idea Ingot. It’s probably never been done before because it’s weird but, who knows? Excuse my poor grammar and editing skills, I wrote this on my phone. Also I’m sensitive. Be gentle.

“I’m going to live in the sewer. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now but it’s finally time. I’ll make my home in the waste and live with the rats.” Marinette groans and then very dramatically buries her head in her hands. A more pathetic sight, she thought, definitely didn’t exist. Even Alya, the eternal optimist, couldn’t think of anything to say. Especially not after Marinette’s latest stunt. Marinette usually considered herself a rational human being but as soon as Adrien Agreste stepped into the picture she always ended up putting her foot in her mouth. 

“It wasn’t that bad Mari.” Alya offers in a half-hearted attempt to placate her best friend. “Besides, you can’t live with the rats, they’d eat you alive.” She snorts, resting a gentle hand on the girl.

“Psh! I would become their queen.” Marinette interjects loudly, lifting her head to shoot a glare at Alya. Who’s only retaliation is a gentle chuckle and shake of her head. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it Marinette, but don’t go live with the rats. Adrien is a nice guy, he probably won’t even mention it.” Alya points out reasonably and Marinette fights back a retort. She knew Adrien was a nice guy. She definitely didn’t need Alya to point it out for her. 

“But he’ll probably never forget about it and I won’t either and every time I see him that’s what I’ll think about and he’ll probably think about it too. Then it’s going to be weird like it always is.” Marinette moans, and Alya feels a pang of remorse for her best friend. She rubs comforting circles into her back as she searches for something to say. Something honest.

“Okay, yeah it might be weird for a little bit, but it won’t be like that forever.” Alya promises, and Marinette can only offer a weak smile that doesn’t hold any kind of conviction. 

“Living with the rats sounds like a much better alternative.” Marinette shrugs half heartedly. It almost feels like the worst is over but then she replays that horrid scene in her mind again and again. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me Alya. It’s like I can’t say anything right, and he probably thinks I’m some kind of idiot or some weird fan girl.” 

A denial rests on Alya’s lips but dies as Marinette’s face falls. Alya watches wordlessly as she literally caves in on herself, almost like a balloon who’s run out of helium. 

“I am, I am one of his weird fan girls. He probably thinks I am a creep.” Marinette turns to Alya, eyes shinning from unshed tears. “I really wanted it to go better.” 

“I know you did, Mari.” Is all she can think to say as she folds her arms around Marinette. Forming an impenetrable shell, wanting more than anything to steal her pain away. And a slow burning hatred bubbles in her stomach, because some boy shouldn’t get to make her best friend feel this way. Even though she knew Adrien, knew him to be the kindest guy in all of Paris. But even he had his short comings, he was as oblivious as they come.

“You just need to find something to take your mind off of it for a little while Mari. At least until things go back to normal.” Alya smiles that hopeful smile she always does and Marinette wishes not for the first time that she could be more like Alya. 

Alya who didn’t have a mean word for anyone, who was brave and helped people automatically. Who was always hopeful, who smiled when there was nothing to smile about.

“You’re probably right, I think I’m going to head home.” Marinette sighs, resigning herself to another night of pining. Of wanting someone who didn’t even really look at her. 

“Do you want me to walk you home?” 

“No, I’ll be okay. I need to clear my head. Thank you though.” And for all the weird mixed up emotions she’s feeling she offers Alya her first real smile, because Alya deserves something real from her. Something whole. Because she was the best friend anyone could ever ask for. 

“Alright, call me when you get home girl.” Alya smiles softly, she holds her arms out and cocks her head to the side. Waiting for Marinette. Always waiting for her. The hug is quick but it’s one that’s lasting. Alya watches as Marinette walks away offering a wave even after she’s turned her back and isn’t looking anymore. 

—

By the time Marinette reachers her home it’s already dark, and she’s got a headache. One that swelled and pounded and hurt. It could have been from crying, but it could have been from how tangled up her thoughts where. The ones that tripped upon their own arrival. That wove around each other and could only be compared to that of tangled head phones. 

The air was thick with the smell of bread and sugar. Which probably should have calmed her. After all Marinette’s family had built a life around the sweet aroma. At the very least it should have been comforting, and for the most part it was. But the discord that sat heavily and hung low in her stomach was a permanent reminder of how horribly she’d messed up today. How she didn’t ever want to go back to school, and didn’t ever want to see Adrien’s face again. A heat rose to her cheeks. One that felt familiar, one that felt permanent. 

After delivering a half-hearted, and noncommittal wave to her parents she trudged upstairs bagel in hand. After sending a quick text to Alya she plopped down on her bed next to her cat Tikki. 

“How are you today, Kitty?” Marinette whispers fondly to her cat, letting herself get lost in the simple gesture of caressing her. Happy to feel something other than shame, and embarrassment. 

Tikki let out a low meow before jumping from the bed, Marinette watched her leave letting a small smile tug at her cheeks knowing that the cat was probably in search of food. Marinette envied her, wished she couldn’t feel things as complex as love. Or like. Or whatever the heck she felt for Adrien. Adrien.

Everything always came back to Adrien.

A chime from Marinette’s desktop startled her from her thoughts. With a heavy sigh she pushes herself up and plops down in her computer chair. Looking for something to get her mind off of he-who-must-not-be-named. It was a message from Nino.

Nino: hey, alya told me about what happened. i’m sorry.if you’re looking for something to take your mind or if it for a while there’s this new game you might like. it’s called Miraculous. alya and i play it sometimes. 

Marinette outwardly cringed at the mention of the incident, even though he hadn’t gone in detail it still brought that awful scene back so vividly she felt dizzy. Marinette didn’t really play video games, but she figured if it could get her mind off of things it was at least worth a try. She typed a quick reply back to him before clicking the link he sent her. 

It opened up a new page, were she was immediately flooded with color. Miraculous was scrawled across the screen and below that read a quick description. A join and register button sat in the top right corner of the screen. 

Miraculous; Paris is being terrorized by Hawkmoth and needs you now more than ever. Choose your superhero, unlock cool powers, defeat akumas, and chat with real people. Play solo or in a team. The choice is yours. 

Marinette had to admit the idea was interesting, but it wasn’t a game she would’ve chose on her own. It looked a little too immature, but either way she was intrigued. She found herself clicking join. It asked for the standard information. Which was easy enough, however she got stuck when it asked her to choose a username. She definitely didn’t want to use her real name, but she couldn’t think of anything else to use. 

“Mari.” Called the low tenor of her fathers voice from the door. And when she didn’t immediately reply he tried again, “My little ladybug. I know you didn’t have the best day so I brought you your favorite. Chocolate eclairs.” 

Marinette smiled at that, even if she hated his childish nickname for her she loved chocolate eclairs. She felt gratitude rush through her and she opened the door to her kindhearted father. Who was large and took up so much space but was never considered menacing. Never rough when it mattered. She enveloped him in a hug, reminded not for the first time today that she had so many people that cared about her. Even if Adrien wasn’t one of them. 

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but your mother and I are here for you when you are.” He murmurs lovingly, and caresses the top of his daughters head with his free hand. Wishing more than anything she would always be happy. It is heartbreaking to want so much for your child only to see them disappointed. 

“Thank you papa.” She smiles as she pulls away from him, and hungrily eyes the eclairs. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you be my little ladybug.” He promises, handing her the eclairs. He blows a goofy kiss at his daughter and beams when he gets the desired reaction. 

Marinette smiled as she watched her father leave. It was an act that really shouldn’t have been as hard as it was. She had so many people who loved her, who would care very much if she went and lived with the rats and all she could focus on was some boy who after four years only ever waved at her. 

But he wasn’t just some boy, he would never be just some boy. He was Adrien Agreste, who was nice to her and everyone he crossed paths with. Who was the literal embodiment of sunshine and deserved only good things. Who made smiles for everyone like it didn’t cost him anything. Who knew her name but virtually nothing else about her. Because he didn’t want to, because he had so many other things going on, and Marinette wasn’t a priority. But then again it wasn’t like she’d ever even really tried to talk to him, until today that is. 

Marinette shook her head in an attempt to rid her thoughts of Adrien. But he existed in every crevice of her mind, his face littered her walls. She’d even scrawled Marinette Agreste in all of the corners of her notebook. 

As she reclaimed the seat in front of her computer she remembered the game, and how she still didn’t know what to use as her username. She pondered for a moment, but it isn’t until she takes a bite of her eclair that it hits her. Ladybug. A moniker she’d never really liked, one that embarrassed her even. But it was perfect, nobody outside of her family knew about the nickname.

She fervently typed it into the little box, and sighed frustratedly when she got a red error notification. Someone had already taken that nickname. Thinking quickly she adds a sixteen at the end and is happy to see that the username is up for grabs. After coming up with an easy to remember password she finishes creating her account and is immediately greeted with the character selection. 

Apparently there was a set group of superhero’s and you could customize their looks, and unlock new powers. None were really jumping out to her until she saw a red and black clad superhero named ladybug. And Marinette actually laughed at the irony. Without even bothering to look through the rest of the characters she pressed next. 

She had to complete a quick tutorial before she could actually play. But once she was finished she was presented with two options. Solo or Team.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is probably cringey. I’m still trying to figure out the characters. Also angst, angst, angst. Just poor Marinette is suffering. Yeah so lemme know what you think, even if it’s trash. But also I’m sensitive, so maybe be gentle??

Marinette watched in a bored sort of fascination as the game paired her up with another person. She felt a swarm of butterflies make their home in her stomach. It wasn’t weird or out of character for her to suddenly feel nervous, but that was usually when around Adrien or presented with conflict of any kind. This wasn’t real life though, it was a video game, and for all she knew she could be paired up with some creep or weirdo hiding behind a computer screen.

And then she felt her face flush, and stomach sink. Thoughts of Adrien flooded her mind, again. If anyone was a creep it was Marinette, and now the whole world knew it. Including Adrien. After all she knew practically everything about him and they’ve had maybe six conversations in the last four years. That was weird.

A chime from her computer disrupted her thoughts and she was brought back to the reality, her reality. She had to let him go. He had made it very clear there wouldn’t be a future for them, she was supposed to be cleansing her mind of Adrien related thoughts, she was supposed to be moving on.

Another chime and all of a sudden the battle had begun. She’d been partnered up with someone named blackcat89. Marinette began clumsily tapping away at her keyboard. Trying to remember the instructions from the quick tutorial she played earlier. Her moves were messy and slow but together they fought each wave of characters that came their way. The game wasn’t physically demanding or too difficult but it was a much needed reprieve for Marinette. Due to the fast paced gameplay she didn’t have time to dwell or overthink like she always did.

As the battle came to an end, Marinette found herself actually enjoying the game, the mechanics were simple and the npc’s were easy to fight. And then there was her partner blackcat89. Who moved quicker than she thought should have been possible. So far they hadn’t said anything to each other yet, and at first it was because there wasn’t time.

But now there was and she just didn’t want to go first. What if he just didn’t feel like talking? What if people didn’t actually use the chat box, they just fought akumas silently and that was that? She was so confused, Nino or the game or anyone should have explained it better. Because now anxiety weighed heavily on her shoulders as she thought of something clever to say. Something that would catch their attention, something that would make them want to keep talking to her. Something lasting. But turns out she doesn’t have to go first, because there’s a ding and she’s greeted with a short message.

Blackcat89: Not bad, Ladybug. But you’ve got a long way to go, but don’t worry. I’m a great teacher. ;)

Marinette let out an audible gasp, a blush rapidly spread up her arms. A winky face? That was suggestive right? That had to be. She couldn’t decide if she found it creepy or cringey. Either way she stretched her fingers out in a panicky sort of way and she found herself longing to come up with a quirky response. She longed to match him wit for wit.

Ladybug16: Nice try Kitty, I’m still getting the hang of this whole superhero thing. But next time we’ll see who teaches who.

It wasn’t very clever, but it was a response, and that Marinette thought, should at least count for something.

Blackcat89: I’ll look forward to it with bated breath my lady.

Marinette watched as the green light next to blackcat89’s name went out, signaling he was no longer online. For some reason she felt very giddy in a way that didn’t make sense to her. In a way that left her breathless, and made her cheeks burn. She felt giddy in the way only Adrien could make her feel.

At that realization she shook her head violently, this was just some random person she’d met online. How could she compare what she felt for Adrien to a ten second conversation with a stranger? Then she felt even more frustrated with herself when she realized she was thinking about Adrien again.

—

“Wait, a winky face? That’s kind of creepy, Mari. He could be like some fifty year old predator.” Alya warned, skeptically. Her nose scrunching up in that way it did when something didn’t sit quite right with her.

“It’s a superhero game Alya, I don’t know that that’s the pedophile hotspot.” Marinette pointed out defensively, for some reason she felt very protective over blackcat89’s motives.

“Ha! That’s what they want you to think. And then you become best friends only to find out they only want you for your feet pictures.” Nino bellowed rather loudly, looking up from his phone for the first time during their whole conversation. His voice rang emphatically throughout the courtyard. A few people turned to see what all of the commotion was about, but quickly lost interest when they saw it was only Nino. He’d developed a penchant for garnering attention.

“Oddly specific example aside, in a weird way he’s kind of right. You can never be too careful Mari.” Alya shot an odd look at Nino, who’s only response was a shrug before he returned to his phone. Marinette knew that they really were only trying to look out for her but she felt like they were being a little overbearing. At the very least it felt like she was being chastised in the way adults scolded a petulant child. After all they were the ones who recommended the game. At least Nino did, so she wasn’t sure why they were making such a big deal out of it.

“I know, but it was like a two second conversation. Its not like I’m gonna meet up with him somewhere. I’d like to think I have at least a little common sense.” Marinette replied hastily, suddenly feeling embarrassed. She felt herself regretting even bringing the growing enigma, that blackcat89 was up to Alya and Nino. She hadn’t expected wedding plans or anything, (not that she was thinking about said complete stranger in that way.) but she hadn’t anticipated a lecture on internet safety, least of all from Nino.

“I know.” Alya said carefully, trying not to push the subject any further. Tense silence hung heavily in the air as Marinette and Alya picked away at their respective nails. It wasn’t a fight but it wasn’t the same easy comfortable silence they were use to. Nino, however, tapped away absentmindedly at his phone screen in eager anticipation. Most likely on the verge of winning his game.

“Hey guys!” Chirped a cheerful looking Adrien. Marinette felt her face flush and a slow panic began rising in her chest. For the first time in her life she wished Adrien Agreste would just go away.

Marinette’s stomach tied itself into tight knots as her once collected thoughts began unraveling chaotically. Alya eyed Marinette warily unsure of what to do or say. She could tell Marinette was feeling extreme discomfort, that of which she longed to relieve her of. But she couldn’t find it in her heart to be mean to Adrien. Nor could she summon the words to ask him to leave. Especially not when he looked so puppy like.

“H-hey man.” Nino stuttered suddenly becoming very aware of the harsh agitated silence that hung heavy in the air. Pressing down on all of them. Marinette felt like she was going to be sick. She just wasn’t ready to see Adrien so soon after everything that had happened.

_I just don’t have time, Marinette. I’m sorry._

_I just don’t have time._

Marinette recoiled as Adriens voice filled her head, bounced around and made its home there. Filled her head with the reminder of what would never be hers.

He wasn’t rejecting you, a part of her whispered. The hopeless romantic that believed things could just work themselves out. That as long as you had hope good things would come to you. But a much larger much more realistic part of her screamed that yes, he did reject you. Because he said no, and that meant so much more than it should have. And now it say on her shoulders weighing her down.

_I just don’t have time_.

Marinette paled, not really hearing, or seeing anything. Just trapped in that horrible moment. A memory stuck on repeat, her own personal brand of torture. And it felt like nothing could be light or happy or good again. Because his words served as a constant reminder, of everything Adrien couldn’t say. Of everything he could, and just how much power he still had over her. How even now, when she’d stupidly thought she’d won her heart back from him, she’d realized it hadn’t ever really left his grasp. That it rested in his hands, where it would remain, still. Because as long as he kept smiling like _that_, she was completely at his mercy and he didn’t even know it.

_I just don’t have time_.

She felt like she was sinking, or being swallowed up or suffocating or maybe all three were happening at the same time. Because here he was, in the flesh. It was so easy to pretend he didn’t exist when she didn’t have to see him, it was easy to tear all of his posters from her wall. But talking to him was another thing entirely. An ocean Marinette wasn’t ready to brave. A deep rooted sadness blossomed in her chest as she heard his words again and again.

_I just don’t have time._

_I just don’t have time._

I just don’t have time _for you_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so welcome to my poorly edited third chapter. I hope the ending doesn’t seem forced. I’m still trying to figure out these characters soooo yeah. Also thanks so much for commenting and letting me know what you think. That fuels my little heart. 
> 
> Also content warning: an overused pedophile joke.

“I-I have to g-go.” Marinette choked out, as she finally came to her sense’s. She turned sharply on her heel, fleeing. Maybe from Adrien, or the situation,or her thoughts. She supposed it didn’t really matter, she just had to get away. 

Nerves rattled around in her chest. Something like bones that bounced around endlessly in the empty stomach of a dragon. Bones because everything else was already destroyed. A strange itch crawled up her skin, as a new wave of anxiety engulfed her. A reminder, a warning.She could never be comfortable around the people that mattered. 

—

Adrien watched in horror as Marinette almost tripped over her feet to get away from him. She was usually klutzy and yeah, she didn’t really like being alone with him but she’d never just  ran away before. Alya quietly excused herself to go chase after her best friend, and that in itself definitely didn’t sit quite right with him. He turned to Nino as an intense feeling of dread and disappointment washed over him.

“Did I do something to Marinette?” Adrien sighed taking a seat next to Nino. After all this time, after all the embarrassing remarks and the not understanding or picking up on social cues he finally thought he’d started to get it. At least just a little bit. But here he was, still not understanding. Only able to watch in mute silence as one of his friends ran away from him. He must have messed up something really badly. 

“Yeah, don’tyou- er uhm... what? No!” Nino coughed out, shaking his head in an attempt to hide his nervousness. If Adrien was confused about what was going on and why Marinette was acting the way she was then it definitely wasn’t Nino’s job to explain it to him. 

“Did you see how she looked at me? I mean she was mortified.” Adrien lamented, rubbing the back of his neck in confusion. Marinette was his friend,  right ? What had he done? 

“ Uhm, well don’t take it personally dude,” Nino started, as he struggled to find something to say. He thought of what Alya and Marinette would want him to say. After all he was sworn to secrecy and wasn’t allowed to mention her crush even though he thought she’d already spilled the beans to him yesterday. But now Nino was wondering if Adrien was actually as present for that conversation as the girls thought he was. 

“Listen, you didn’t do anything. She’s just going through a hard time right now.” Nino finally settled on an excuse. It was vague enough for him to not ask questions, but hopefully it would put his mind at ease. Was Nino lying? Maybe. But he told himself it was for Adrien, for Adrien and Marinette’s sake. 

Adrien listened carefully to what Nino had to say, a wave of relief washed over him when he realized he wasn’t the cause of her distress. However he still felt bad for the her. Marinette was always helping others. 

“What’s going on? If Marinette is going through a hard time right now we should try and be there for her Nino.” Adrien insisted. 

“Well there’s not much we can do.” Nino ground out, wishing now more than he’d ever had before that Alya and Marinette hadn’t left him to fend for himself. He knew himself well enough to know he was going to say something he shouldn’t. 

“But there has to be something.” Adrien shot back stubbornly, a fiercely loyal protectiveness washed over him. His friends had done so much for him, even Marinette. Who was usually a quiet, unassuming prescience in their friend group. Or at least when he was around she seemed to lose her voice, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care. He felt like he owed it to her. 

“Listen, Marinette probably won’t want us to meddle.” Nino sighed in a half-hearted attempt to talk Adrien out of whatever he was planning. 

“Nino!” Adrien groaned in a subdued sort of frustration. It was rare for Adrien to be this stubbornly passionate about something in public. But Adrien was loyal to a fault as Nino has come to discover, and when it concerned his friends he was immovable.

“Agh, I don’t know what you want from me dude. I think we should just leave her be.” Nino insisted, if only Alya was here. Then he wouldn’t be left grappling and making excuses for Marinette. He couldn’t very well tell Adrien he was the problem, especially not after lying to him. But Adrien was his best friend and he didn’t want to see him hurt anymore than he wanted to see Marinette hurt. 

“Why? No one should be alone.” Adrien mumbled as he thought back on his own experiences. The eating alone, and the big rooms but no breathing space. He shook his head in exasperation. No, he wouldn’t let anyone feel alone. 

“It’s her cat.” Nino finally choked out. 

“Her cat?” Adrien raised in eyebrow in confusion. 

“Yeah, Tikki. She’s uhm actually really sick. Like super sick. And Marinette is devastated yeah just completely miserable and she just wants to be left alone. Well left alone with uhm Alya. So yeah.” Nino gushed, the words tumbling out of his mouth at a breakneck pace. He watched in horror as a puzzled sort of confusion distorted Adrien’s features. Why did he say that? Why did he bring her cat into it? Where was Alya?

“Well, if she really wants to be left alone then I suppose we should respect that. But I’m sure there’s still something we can do.” Adrien mumbled more to himself than to Nino. 

“Well I have to get to fencing, I’ll see you later Nino.” Adrien called distractedly as he readjusted the bag on his shoulder. 

Nino let out a sigh of relief. Glad to be out of such a messy situation. For the time being at least. He picked up his phone and dialed Alya’s number, he was sure she wasn’t going to answer after it rang a few times. Then he was greeted with her familiar voice and that in itself brought a smile to his face. 

“So uh, don’t get mad. But I might have just told Adrien that the reason Marinette is so upset is because her cat is super sick and now the guy is like set on helping her. I’m talking crazy look in his eyes, dead set. So let’s not be surprised if the next time we see him he’s like a certified vet or something.”

—

“What. Did. You. Do?” Marinette bellowed into Alya’s phone, her spiraling embarrassment now replaced with an anger. The likes of which Nino has never seen. 

“You guys just left me! I didn’t know what was safe to say.” Nino grumbled defensively.

“Just calm down Mari. We’ll figure this out.” Alya tried to reason with her fuming best friend. 

“Nino has to fix this, I can’t talk to Adrien. Like ever again.” Marinette moaned in distress.

“Now you’re just being dramatic Mari, you’re going to have to talk to him again.” Alya warned rubbing her temples with both hands. 

“It’s not even that big of a deal Marinette. It was only a little tiny lie.” Nino supplied, but quickly shut his mouth when he saw the glare Alya was shooting him from her phone screen.

“This is such a mess.” Marinette groaned as she buried her head in her arms in frustration. 

“Listen, Nino’s right. It seriously isn’t that big of a deal. We’ll just tell him your cats fine and no harm done.” Alya muttered softly in attempt to reassure her best friend. 

“Ugh. You’re probably right. I’m sorry for getting so angry Nino. I think I just need to be alone for a while though.” Marinette relented, all of a sudden feeling very drained. Alya sighed and said a quick goodbye to Nino before burying her phone in her back pocket. 

“Okay, but honestly Mari. You’re over thinking this, it’s not a big deal.” Alya pulled Marinette into a short embrace before making her departure. 

Alya was right, Marinette was over thinking this. But that’s what she did. It was quite literally her thing. A hug couldn’t just be a hug, there had to be implications. A joke couldn’t only be a joke there had to be some ulterior motive. At least that’s how Marinette’s brain worked. 

Marinette felt sick of thinking, she just wanted a break. So she threw caution to the wind and pulled up Miraculous. After quickly signing in she was delighted (not that she’d ever admit that) to see blackcat89 was also online. 

It wasn’t long before they were fighting akuma after akuma together. It had started off much like it had yesterday, a silent battle. Two people connected by a keyboard, and a goal. However, at the end of the battle her computer chimed and a message filled the little chat box hovering in the left hand corner of the game. 

Blackcat89 : So, Ladybug. What do you do when you aren’t saving Paris via video game?

Marinette pondered his question before typing a quick reply, glad to be occupied by something other than Adrien. It wasn’t long before she was trading banter with her online partner like they were old friends. Like they knew each other. 

I guess it’s easy to be brave online , Marinette thought . When there aren’t consequences and you can pretend your someone else entirely. Anyone can be brave over the internet. 

Ladybug16 : I’m not sure I should tell you, my friends think you’re a pedophile. 

Blackcat89 : That’s paw-sitively disturbing. 

Ladybug16 : Can you blame them? 

Blackcat89 : I guess not, the internet is a big and scary place after alllll. 

Ladybug16 : Yeah, and it eats little kittens like you for breakfast. 

Blackcat89 : okay, that sounded distinctly inappropriate.

Ladybug16 : stop. 

Ladybug16 : Anyways, what do you do outside of playing Miraculous? Besides making horrible cat puns that is. 

Blackcat89 : Well, now I am not sure I feel safe.  You could be a pedophile. 

Ladybug16 : Definitely not a pedophile. 

Blackcat89 : That’s exactly what a pedophile would say. 

Ladybug16 : Are you sure you aren’t projecting?

Blackcat89 : It’s flattering you think I know what that means. 

Marinette let out a giggle, for the first time in the last few days she felt very light hearted and carefree. It was like time wasn’t real and she could spend all night talking to her black clad superhero. But then Marinette gasped when she saw the time. It was so late and she had to be up early for school tomorrow. It was hard enough getting there on time when she went to bed at a reasonable time.

Ladybug16 : Alright, well as entertaining as this conversation has been Kitty, it’s getting late.

Blackcat89 : In that case I look forward to our next encatner (like encounter but purposefully spelled wrong to accommodate my cat pun :3) 

Marinette couldn’t fight the smile that fixed itself on her face, she didn’t want to. Not when smiling had become so hard lately and this one was so easy. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So my goal was to make this chapter pretty light hearted, but the ending is pretty angsty. Because I live on the pain train. Anyways I really hope you like it! And it would mean the world to me if you let me know what you thought. It makes my tiny little shriveled up heart swell.

Marinette’s attention was furiously fixated on her computer screen, her hands a blur of motion as she fought waves of akumas. She’d only been playing for a few days now, but she had improved significantly from her first battle. 

What began as a silly way to quit thinking about Adrien had slowly become one of her favorite hobbies, once she got home from school she’d spend hours on the game. Playing solo when blackcat89 wasn’t on. It was so easy to lose herself in it, to pretend she was doing something important. Saving people, saving places, saving things. Even though it was a game mostly targeted at children, she was hooked.

Currently, Marinette was working on unlocking one her character’s super power. Lucky Charm. So far she didn’t have it and from what she could tell it would completely change how she played the game. At least that’s what her partner had told her. Blackcat89 already had his super power unlocked, which was most likely due to the fact that he’d been playing long before Marinette started. Even so, she still watched in envy as he destroyed akumas like it was nothing. 

When the round was over she heard the familiar chime and the chat box pulled up. As they continued working together they’d developed a routine. Even when it came to messaging each other, Marinette never initiated the conversation. She never had to though, blackcat89 did it for both of them. Almost like he knew somehow that they wouldn’t ever talk if she had to do it. 

As far as Marinette could tell he wasn’t a predator, he seemed like a normal teenage boy. One who was maybe a little flirty, but mostly it seemed like he just wanted a friend. All of his messages were lighthearted and cheesy but there was a certain kind of undertone to them. Maybe like he was trying too hard to sell how happy he was. But Marinette wasn’t a psychologist. She definitely shouldn’t be trying to analyze internet strangers. 

Marinette couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t curious about who her partner was, and what he looked like. But unlike him she could contain her curiosity. It was most likely because a large part of her still wasn’t ready to accept that they were becoming friends. That he was becoming a fixture in her life, and maybe he wouldn’t be permanent but he was there all the same. It was easier for her to pretend when he was just some guy she said hi to once. But they were talking everyday now.

And then there was Alya; who Marinette loved with her whole heart, but she was so overbearing. Like a worried parent that breathed down their child’s neck. It was only because she cared, and Marinette had made it all too easy for Alya to fawn over her like she was some kind of baby bird. After all Marinette was always looking to Alya for strength when she couldn’t muster it up herself. 

But this was something she wanted to keep for herself. She knew Alya would never approve of her chatting with a complete stranger (well complete was a strong word, maybe semi-stranger) everyday. So when Alya asked if she messaged him again Marinette had told her no without even thinking. She wanted, no, needed to keep her real life and her online life completely separate. 

Blackcat89: we’ve been fighting akumas together for a few days now, and I think we should take our relationship to the next level.

Ladybug16: What relationship, Kitty? I don’t even know you.

Marinette couldn’t deny the heat that spread to her cheeks, and how quickly her heart began hammering. It was so easy to be brave when no one was watching, but even easier to be completely vulnerable. 

Blackcat89: you wound me my lady. I thought what we had was special. 

Blackcat89: Jokes aside though, aren’t we friends?

Ladybug16: maybe acquaintances? 

Marinette had developed a certain personality when she logged into Miraculous, it was like she was a different person entirely. She was bold and said things she would never say as Marinette. But Ladybug made her strong. 

Blackcat89: wow so you just go around saving Paris with all of your acquaintances then?

Ladybug16: not typically, no

Blackcat89: Well, either way that was kind of my point Ladybug. We don’t really know each other, but I think we could become good friends if we did.

Ladybug16: Hmmm, I don’t know.

Blackcat89: What are you still afraid I’m a pedophile? Because I swear I’m not, I know I joke around and stuff but I only love babies in a platonic way. 

Ladybug16: Ooookay. 

Blackcat89: You know what? I had a super fun ice breaker planned for us so we could get to know each other better but now I’m not sure I even want to play it with you anymore.

Ladybug16: Oh is someone not getting their way, Kitty? Did you want an apple juice with that tantrum?

Blackcat89: Wow, Ladybug you’re kind of mean. 

Blackcat89: and! Apple Juice is not just for children. It’s actually very good for you.

Blackcat89: Probably. 

Ladybug16: Alright, I’ll play your little game. But if it gets weird, I’m out.

Ladybug16: How do you play?

Blackcat89: okay basically we just take turns asking each other questions about each other

Ladybug16: soooo, 21 questions?

Blackcat89: no! It took me many sleepless nights to come up with that generic idea, so the fact that you’re discrediting me really hurts my lady. 

Ladybug16: Forgive me, I’m sure you worked soooo hard on it.

Blackcat89: that was sarcasm, wasn’t it?

Ladybug16: spectcatular deduction. 

Blackcat89: The cat puns are spreading, I feel so empowered. 

Ladybug16: Ha. Ha. 

Blackcat89: okay so I guess I’ll start, where do you live?

Ladybug16: pass.

Blackcat89: okay, how old are you?

Ladybug16: pass.

Blackcat89: uhm, what’s your real name? 

Ladybug16: pass.

Blackcat89: you do realize the point of the game is to get to know each other right?

Ladybug16: Yeah but those questions are too personal, you’re still a stranger. I don’t know that I’m comfortable revealing my identity to you. 

Blackcat89: I wouldn’t be a stranger if you answered my questions, I don’t know want to just keep calling you ladybug. 

Marinette had to agree it was getting a little annoying only being able to refer to each other by their usernames. But there was no way she was going to voluntarily tell him her real name, so she thought for a moment before typing out a reply. 

Ladybug16: fine, you can call me Coccinelle. 

Blackcat89: That really defeats the purpose, I hope you realize that. 

Ladybug16: I am aware.

Blackcat89: Ugh, you’re impossible woman. Fine, then you can call me chat noir. 

Ladybug16: See, now you’re getting it, Chaton.

Blackcat89: When I pictured this it went a lot differently in my head. 

Ladybug16: Hey, we’re now on a nickname basis. So this wasn’t completely useless. 

Blackcat89: There’s that. Well, my lady it’s been enchatning, (that one was pretty clever, don’t you think? :3) but I have to go. 

Ladybug16: Okay, that really wasn’t funny, but I’ll talk to you later kitty.

Marinette signed off after seeing the green light next to blackcat89’s name go out. She let a small smile graze her lips feeling content in the way she always did after talking to him. 

Marinette grabbed her book bag and flopped down on her bed, ready to get some homework done. As she was rummaging through her bag for a pencil she heard the oh so familiar melody of a ringtone playing. Someone was calling her.

She abandoned her search for her pencil and grabbed her phone. It wasn’t anyone she knew, so she swiped to accept it and propped it up against her ear. She flipped open her notebook and reached for her bag.

“Hey, Marinette.” The voice was soft, and warm. Sweet too, maybe too sweet. Maybe it wasn’t sweet enough. Marinette used to fantasize about that voice, had listened to interview after interview pretending his words were for her. Only her. 

But in four days a lot can change, and now she dreaded it in the way you dread a doctors visit. Dreaded it in the way you do a cold, or oncoming traffic. She felt a reckless sort of fear blossoming inside of her. Her stomach fluttered nervously. A tsunami of butterflies that flapped and never sat still. Butterflies that used to be good, but now signaled a rooted sort of discord. 

She was suddenly very aware of how quickly her heart was beating. Almost as if it were already trying to run away. She felt a permanent kind of embarrassment crawl it’s way up her neck, sending shivers down the notches of her spine. She felt like a furnace, or the sun, or just something hot. Too hot. 

Tears pricked her eyes as that awful scene flashed before eyes again and again. A nightmare on repeat. It was four days ago but her hurricane heart still couldn’t let it go. 

_Are you sure you just don’t want to let it go? _A small part of her screamed. _Maybe you like to suffer. _

“Hi Adrien.” 

_Maybe you like to suffer. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Okay, so Marinette probably seems super ooc in this chapter. I swear I am doing my best. Also I'm sorry if you're sick of the angst. But my heart lives for angst and very few moments of comic relief. However there is no comic relief in this chapter, perhaps in the next? I really really hope you like it and I adore the feedback. it would mean the world to me if you let me know what you think. Thank you so much! Also I'm hoping for a raise in quality of this story because I know have my laptop and am no longer typing it up on my phone!

“I don’t understand why you aren’t more excited, Mari. You’ve only been wanting to hang out with him alone for like forever.” Alya pointed out, and Marinette felt a petty sort of resentment build up in her stomach. Alya was right, and here she was making a big deal out of it_. But that was before_, she reminds herself. _And everything is so different now. _

“Yes, but what if he wants to talk about _the thing_? And besides, I wanted to date him, this isn’t a date. This is a meeting.” Marinette replied cynically. Alya dramatically pinched the bridge of her noes impatiently. Sometimes her best friend just liked to create something out of nothing.

“A meeting? Come on, Marinette.” Alya groaned, and when she saw the hurt look on her best friends face the angry part of her withered. “You guys are friends, nothing weird is going to happen. Just be cool.”

“Yeah, just be cool.” Marinette mimicked as she robotically paced around her room. A smile, so wide her lips cracked, distorted her typically soft features. Alya shook her head stifling a giggle.

“This isn’t funny Alya!” Marinette hissed, and Alya physically recoiled. 

“I’m only trying to help Marinette.” Alya narrowed her eyes indignantly.

“Well it doesn’t really feel like it, it feels like you’re making fun of me.” She fired back.

“Are you kidding me?” Alya’s eyes widened in disbelief at first. And then when she realized Marinette was serious a black tar anger simmered in her stomach. “I have done nothing but help you. For the past four years, it’s been Adrien this and Adrien that. And you know what after the fifty-sixth time I really don’t care about how blue his eyes are anymore, okay?” It was Marinette’s turn to recoil.

“What are you saying?” The words were soft and vulnerable and slipped out easily.

“I’m saying I’m sick of it. I can’t remember the last time we talked about my feelings. It’s getting old Marinette.” Alya grumbled wrapping her arms around herself as she cocked her hip and head challengingly.

“That’s not fair, we talk about your feelings all the time.” Marinette insisted. Anger was something she’d felt before of course, but never for Alya. That was something new entirely.

“No, we don’t. We talk about Marinette and we talk about Adrien and that’s it.” Alya barked, she didn’t mind listening to her friends’ problems. She also didn’t mind that they predominately talked about her. Friendships were a give and take after all. It was just sometimes you took more than you gave. But an unknown bitterness swelled inside of her, years of suppression did that to you.

“If that’s all I talk about then why haven’t you said anything?” Marinette cried, partly because she was angry but mostly because she had nothing else to say. Her best friend was accusing her of being selfish and that was the absolute last word she would ever have used to describe herself. How was she supposed to respond to that?

“Because you’re my best friend Marinette. I would do anything for you. But I’m not going to sit here and be your punching bag.” Alya bit back just as angrily. Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed as she thought about that. Sure, she would snap at Alya from time to time when she wasn’t being serious but she wouldn’t go as far as to say that the girl was her punching bag. That wasn’t fair.

“I don’t use you as a punching bag, I vent to you. Because I thought we were friends.” Marinette mumbled angrily, angrier than she’d been in a long time. The words were out before she could stop them, but she never thought about what she said when she was angry. She just wanted to be right and she just wanted to make the other person hurt.

_ How could Alya of all people not understand? Alya always understood. _

“We are Marinette.” Alya insisted, a fear blossomed in her stomach at the tension that filled the room. At the anger that radiated off of the girl, and the anger she felt. She knew she was going to say something that she didn’t mean. She was certain she already had.

“Are we?” Marinette didn’t mean it, she was just upset. She wished Alya would just stop, that she’d just understand that she was going through so much.

_I didn’t mean it. _Her eyes pleaded but Alya wasn’t looking at her eyes. Wasn’t looking at her at all. Just staring numbly in the distance.

“Marinette.” She said, her voice lowered in warning.

“I don’t really want to talk about it anymore Alya.” Marinette insisted, shutting down. No longer feeling safe to discuss her feelings. She watched the hurt that covered Alya’s face and immediately wanted to take it back. Wanted to take this whole day back. But the words were out.

“No, of course you don’t. Fine. Good luck with your stupid meeting with Adrien. I don’t care anymore. But don’t come crying to me if find you can’t handle your feelings, okay Marinette?”

The door slammed and the house shook or maybe it was just Marinette’s room or it could have just been her body or maybe it was her heart. Her heart that was so delicate, and unstable. That was beating so quickly because they’d never fought like that before. Because that goodbye had felt _final_.

Hot silent tears slid down Marinette’s cheeks as she stood firmly in place. Wanting to go after her best friend but not being able to move. Never being able to move when it mattered. The ghost of an apology resting on her tongue. Too late.

_I didn’t mean it._

\--

“I’m really glad you could meet me, Marinette. I know it was kind of spur of the moment.” Adrien chuckled in the way he did that made Marinette’s heart swoon. But Marinette’s heart didn’t stir.

“Of course, what are friends for?” Marinette asked, but it wasn’t a question. She smiled but it was such a sad little smile even Adrien couldn’t ignore the sorrow obscuring her words.

“Are you okay, Marinette? Nino said your cat was fine but if she’s sick I know a really good vet – “Adrien started his face screwing up in worry. Because after everything they were still friends, and he felt less for strangers. Because he was so _incessantly good. _ Marinette wanted to be sick.

“No!” Marinette exclaimed, and then realizing just who she was yelling at cleared her through and panicky whispered, “Tikki’s fine.”

“Oh good, good.” Adrien tried to smile again, tried to make her feel brighter. But she wasn’t even looking at him.

“Yeah.” Marinette sighed as she took her head in her hands and stared wistfully at the hot chocolate Adrien had bought her. Months ago, she would have been near hysterical at the thought of Adrien Agreste buying her hot chocolate but what was the point if she couldn’t even tell Alya about it tomorrow.

“Did I do something Marinette? Because if I did, I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to – “Adrien began earnestly only to be cut off again.

“No! No, you didn’t do anything. I’m just going through something right now.” Marinette supplied not wanting to go in detail. Half because she didn’t want to bore him, and half because she didn’t want Adrien to confirm her worst fears. She didn’t want him to tell her Alya had been right.

“Aren’t we friends Marinette?” Adrien whispered with such seriousness Marinette couldn’t help but meet his indulgent smile and shining eyes.

“I don’t know, maybe acquaintances?” Marinette said without even thinking about it. A surprised expression flickered on his face for a millisecond before it was replaced by something different. Something guarded.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to joke. Of course, we are friends, Adrien.” Marinette apologized somewhat bashfully.

“It’s okay.” Adrien supplied and he was all smiles again. All soft edges and warm words and a certain kind of understanding that could make anyone feel safe. “I just wanted you to know you can tell me anything, that if you’re feeling sad or going through something you shouldn’t do it alone.” Marinette didn’t really gape at him, but there was definitely some staring and some jaw dropping.

“I mean you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. If you’re not comfortable or if it’s something private. I just thought that if you needed someone to talk to you should know, I am here. I know what it’s like to feel alone.” Adrien rambled feeling suddenly embarrassed at Marinette’s surprised expression.

“That’s actually really nice Adrien.” Marinette smiled and it felt real, or as real as it could be when she was living in the very depths of despair.

It was Adrien’s turn to feel slightly embarrassed when exposed to Marinette’s adoring blue eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and smiled brightly. “No worries, I would do it for anyone.”

Marinette sighed. Adrien was really nice. Way too nice, actually. His niceness however served as a double-edged sword she constantly found herself at the end of. How was she supposed to determine if he actually cared about her or if he was just trying to help? Adrien was always trying to help something or the other. It didn’t matter what or who needed his attention. If it was worth fighting for, he’d be there.

“Well, I’m in a fight with Alya.” Marinette uttered and the words felt so weird and foreign on her lips. She didn’t fight with Alya, not ever. Not like this anyways. “She thinks I’m selfish, and that I only talk about myself and my problems. At first I thought that was ridiculous but now I’m starting to believe her.”

“There must be some kind of mistake Marinette, you’re the least selfish person I know.” Adrien declared, and maybe it was a little bit out of sympathy because she just looked so sad but mostly, he believed it. He’d seen it firsthand. Marinette was always helping people when she thought no one was looking.

“No, Adrien there hasn’t been any mistake. Alya’s right, she’s done nothing but support me and I spend all of my time taking her help for granted. I just assumed she’d always be there, that I’d always have someone to talk to. I didn’t really think that she might need someone to talk to too.” Marinette sighed as she tapped away at the glass table. Nerves filling her belly and a deep understanding filled her heart.

“Well, if that is the case then it’s good you know. It’s always important to be self-aware. Maybe you were selfish in the past but that’s the great thing about life, we are always changing and evolving. You don’t have to be who you were yesterday. You just have to make that decision. I don’t think you’re selfish Marinette, I think you can get carried away but we all get carried away. It’s how graceful we are when we look our mistakes in the eyes that matters. We have to be better then we were before.”

Marinette’s swore her heart stopped. Her love for Adrien was a forever kind of one she figured. Because even though she swore she was over it here he was telling her things that made sense and made her want to be a better person.

“W-what if she doesn’t want to t-talk to me again.” Marinette stammered more out of fear of how many flips her stomach was doing and less because she was actually scared.

“You and Alya are best friends. One fight isn’t going to change that. She might not want to talk about it right away and you have to respect that but the only thing you can do is be there for her. Prove you are fighting for your friendship.”

Marinette was in literally in awe. When did Adrien Agreste become so profound?

“You’re r-right. I have to go find her. Thank you so much for listening A-Adrien. You’re so beaut- er uhm I mean nice. So nice! I’m uhm really sorry we never got around to talking about that erm thing.” Marinette said sincerely, feeling panic bubble up in her chest. She struggled to push it way, she didn’t have time, nor did she want to deal with her stupid crush on Adrien at that moment. There would be a day when they’d talk it out but today wasn’t that today.

“No problem. Some other time Marinette.” He waved her off feeling slightly disappointed. He meant every word he said and he understood how important Alya’s friendship was but he’d hoped they would have had a little more time to talk. But Marinette and Alya had a forever kind of friendship that needed some help and he respected that immensely.


End file.
